<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Forgiveness by TammyRenH</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25223518">Forgiveness</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TammyRenH/pseuds/TammyRenH'>TammyRenH</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hurt/comfort bingo [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 01:57:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>523</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25223518</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TammyRenH/pseuds/TammyRenH</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen gets a phone call in the pre-dawn hours.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hurt/comfort bingo [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1827415</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Forgiveness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the square “forgiveness” on my hurt/comfort bingo card.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I miss you.”</p><p>Jensen curses himself for answering the phone.</p><p>He will always answer though, they both know it.</p><p>“Jared, you have to stop doing this.”</p><p>Voice soft, barely above a whisper. “Do you miss me?”</p><p>“It’s four in the fucking morning.”</p><p>Silence.</p><p>He almost says yes, bites his lower lip hard to keep the word trapped in his throat.</p><p>Nothing but breathing on the other end, Jensen wonders if he has fallen asleep.</p><p>He doesn’t need this shit. He certainly doesn’t deserve it. He takes the phone away from his ear, his finger hovers over the end button.</p><p>He hears a sound, faint, and presses the phone hard against his ear. “What?”</p><p>He cringes at how sharp his voice is.</p><p>“I really am, Jensen, so sorry.”</p><p>He’s been crying. Jensen steels himself against the need to drop everything. to ride to the rescue like the knight they had both deluded themselves into believing he was.</p><p>He is not his to save any longer, he reminds himself.</p><p>“I need time,” he says.</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>More silence. Jensen rests his head against the pillow, carefully does not look over at the huge empty spot on the other side of his bed.</p><p>“My therapist will ream me but good when she finds out I did this.”</p><p>Jared’s voice is raspy. Jensen wonders how long he’s been up. If he ever slept at all.</p><p>Reminds himself firmly that Jared is no longer his to worry about.</p><p>“Jared, go to sleep. This isn’t a problem we can fix tonight.”</p><p>A sigh. Rustling. Hopefully, that means he is at least in bed.</p><p>Voice small, so unlike his normal voice, pity wells up in him, no matter how Jensen fights against it. “Do you think you ever could? “</p><p>“Ever could what Jared?” Of course he knows, but he needs to have Jared say it. He has so few defenses against him, he has to take for himself what he can.</p><p>“I’m sorry Jensen. Really truly I am. I have no – I – “</p><p>Jared’s voice trails off. In his mind’s eye, Jensen can see him, curled up in his bed. Trying to make himself small.</p><p>Like it was possible. Like Jared hadn’t loomed so large from the moment they had met.</p><p>“Go to sleep,” Jensen repeats, adding an edge of steel to his voice.</p><p>“But do you think you could?”</p><p>“I hope so,” he replies honestly, his heart too tight in his chest.</p><p>And then once more. “Go to sleep.”</p><p>“I have no right to ask it, I know. But can you stay on the line? Until I can sleep please?”</p><p>Jensen lies there, caught hard between anger and pity. What kind of person breaks your heart then pleads for you to help them?</p><p>“Never mind, it was careless of me to ask. Night Jensen, I’m sorry I woke you.”</p><p>Jensen looks at the clock again. Gets up. Might as well start the coffee. There will be no more sleep for him tonight.</p><p>“Go to sleep Jared.” He hears the softness in his voice and wants to hate himself for it. “Close your eyes. I’ll be here until you fall asleep.”</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>